Performing as an actor vs performing as yourself

Hi There,

For my last term at The Royal Central School of Speech and Drama, we are expected to complete a unit called 'Reflective Practitioner'. The aim of this unit is to produce a fifteen-minute presentation to the rest of the year, discussing our experience on the course and how we will use our skills in the future. This particular unit is one that I have been dreading since the beginning of my final year. I have learnt a great deal about drama as a whole and have loved every minute of my applied theatre course, however, the truth is, it has made me realise that I don’t actually want to become an applied theatre Practitioner, all I want to do is perform. I don’t want it to sound selfish as I would still love to work with communities, however, at this stage in my life my career goal is to become an actress and hopefully run my own theatre school.

 For anyone that does not know what applied theatre is, I will give you a brief description, based on my opinion. The last three years of my studies have been around focusing on the definition of what applied theatre really is and I would still say I am not a hundred percent I really know the full concept of the term. Applied theatre is a broad subject and is an umbrella term for various theatre and drama studies. From what I have learnt from Central, I believe that applied theatre is a form of drama that uses theatre to confront different issues and promote social change. Often this sort of theatre is not used in a conventional theatre space and the participants have either little or no experience in acting and theatre.

The reason I am anxious about this presentation is that I feel it is difficult to get up in front of everyone and say that I am going in a completely different direction to what the course has taught me. I know some people who have not been at all supportive in my decision to go to Los Angeles (this is probably down to jealously) or they do not understand why I did an applied theatre course, if I am going to follow a career in acting. The truth is, I wanted to have a varied idea of theatre and possibly a different career path in the arts. This is exactly what the course gave me, but it has also allowed me to realise where my main passion lies.

People seem to think that being an actor means you are automatically a confident, which often with a vibrant and charismatic personality. The personality bit is correct, but I am not necessarily always very confident. I am happy to get up and perform a monologue or a play in front of hundreds of people, but when it comes to giving a speech as myself, this is where the anxiety kicks in. As an actor I often ask myself, why do we feel different when we are performing as a character to when we are presenting or speaking as ourselves? My answer is simple!

When an actor performs as a character, they take on the personality and characteristics of that role. For this, they are becoming a character, one that is different from themselves. By playing a character, the actor is aware that the audience is judging the character, rather than the actor themselves. For the actor it is like wearing a mask that protects them from the outside world. When a person is speaking as themself, their identity is exposed, making that person automatically vulnerable. The mask, which is used to hide behind, has been removed and there is no longer a way to hide yourself from the audience. This time when you are being judged, you are being judged based on you. The best way to explain it is it feels as if you have been stripped of all your clothes (your protection) and is standing there naked, exposed. That may sound a little dramatic, but it is the truth.

Anyway I have always convinced myself that anything is possible and you can do anything if you just believe it. So I will be doing that exact thing in this situation.


Thanks for reading my blog…Over and Out!!


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