Performing as an actor vs performing as yourself
Hi There,
For my last
term at The Royal Central School of Speech and Drama, we are expected to
complete a unit called 'Reflective Practitioner'. The aim of this unit is to
produce a fifteen-minute presentation to the rest of the year, discussing our
experience on the course and how we will use our skills in the future. This
particular unit is one that I have been dreading since the beginning of my
final year. I have learnt a great deal about drama as a whole and have loved
every minute of my applied theatre course, however, the truth is, it has made
me realise that I don’t actually want to become an applied theatre
Practitioner, all I want to do is perform. I don’t want it to sound selfish as
I would still love to work with communities, however, at this stage in my life
my career goal is to become an actress and hopefully run my own theatre school.
For anyone that does not know what applied
theatre is, I will give you a brief description, based on my opinion. The last
three years of my studies have been around focusing on the definition of what
applied theatre really is and I would still say I am not a hundred percent I
really know the full concept of the term. Applied theatre is a broad subject
and is an umbrella term for various theatre and drama studies. From what I have
learnt from Central, I believe that applied theatre is a form of drama that uses
theatre to confront different issues and promote social change. Often this sort
of theatre is not used in a conventional theatre space and the participants
have either little or no experience in acting and theatre.
The reason I
am anxious about this presentation is that I feel it is difficult to get up in
front of everyone and say that I am going in a completely different direction
to what the course has taught me. I know some people who have not been at all
supportive in my decision to go to Los Angeles (this is probably down to
jealously) or they do not understand why I did an applied theatre course, if I
am going to follow a career in acting. The truth is, I wanted to have a varied
idea of theatre and possibly a different career path in the arts. This is
exactly what the course gave me, but it has also allowed me to realise where my
main passion lies.
People seem
to think that being an actor means you are automatically a confident, which
often with a vibrant and charismatic personality. The personality bit is
correct, but I am not necessarily always very confident. I am happy to get up
and perform a monologue or a play in front of hundreds of people, but when it
comes to giving a speech as myself, this is where the anxiety kicks in. As an
actor I often ask myself, why do we feel
different when we are performing as a character to when we are presenting or
speaking as ourselves? My answer is simple!
When an actor
performs as a character, they take on the personality and characteristics of
that role. For this, they are becoming a character, one that is different from
themselves. By playing a character, the actor is aware that the audience is
judging the character, rather than the actor themselves. For the actor it is
like wearing a mask that protects them from the outside world. When a person is
speaking as themself, their identity is exposed, making that person
automatically vulnerable. The mask, which is used to hide behind, has been
removed and there is no longer a way to hide yourself from the audience. This
time when you are being judged, you are being judged based on you. The best way
to explain it is it feels as if you have been stripped of all your clothes
(your protection) and is standing there naked, exposed. That may sound a little
dramatic, but it is the truth.
Anyway I have
always convinced myself that anything is possible and you can do anything if
you just believe it. So I will be doing that exact thing in this situation.
Thanks for
reading my blog…Over and Out!!
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